


Rinse and Repeat

by orphan_account



Series: ficlets [17]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Infidelity, M/M, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, bad bucky barnes is bad, don't expect happy ending, gratuitous use of swear words, mild struggle to stop intercourse, no minced words and apple pie, reunited high school sweethearts, romance gone bad, this is darkish and messed up, trash trash bang bang, writer do not condone cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24897001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He knows the order by heart by now.First comes fuck, second comes abandonment and third comes guilt.Fourth comes regret, fifth comes resolution, but sixth comes Barnes.And when Barnes comes, that's when the order becomes a cycle and the cycle repeats itself.Rinse, and then repeat
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: ficlets [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551151
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Rinse and Repeat

**Author's Note:**

> initially prompted by a friend. the prompt was to have tony cheat on his wife (who is pregnant) with his returning childhood 'bad boy' sweetheart and later, abandons all for him
> 
> ... my morality snapped

Growing up, Tony has had his fair share of broken hearts.

First, it was Sunset Bain in middle school, then some hot guy he never learnt the name of but crushed so hard he cried for weeks. His bi-revelation truly.

Third, was this sleazy motherfucker who drove the entire school insane with his wildness and stabbed Tony's heart through and through, remorseless.

The same motherfucker who is now leering at him outside his brand-new house which he'd just bought for his wife and his soon arriving child.

Tony steps out and shuts the door behind him quickly.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He grits out, taking in the man before him.

A part of Tony that is still reckless as shit yearns for that messy bun and biker jacket. That stupid cigarette stench that seems to permanently cling onto James Barnes and his awfully tight leather pants.

God, Tony is two years younger than him and even he can't still pull this grunge! teen get-up.

Also, they're in their 30s! Why the hell is Tony getting turned on by this.

"What do you want?" He slaps away the hand that reaches for his face.

James Barnes is hopeless. He is above himself and everyone else.

He's untamed, unleashed and feral on his feet.

Tony got his heart broken by him not once, but thrice. He doesn't need it one more time to remember how it ached back then.

"Easy, doll. Your teeth are too sharp," Barnes leers, reaching again to cup Tony's cheek.

And this time, Tony lets him. Fuck. He _lets_ him.

"How's my favourite doll doing?" Barnes asks, leaning in.

His voice has that rasp from chronic, heavy smoking. But goddamn, it suits him like feathers to silk.

His fingers are calloused. Tony hears he's on the road most of the time, but when he's not, he fixes bikes and cars for cash.

His nails are short but there are lines of black grease beneath them. Proofs of his labour.

Tony should feel disgusted when he hooks a thumb into the corner of Tony's mouth and pulls.

But here's the sickening truth; Tony doesn't.

"What do you want?" He asks again. Tired.

Tired of this push and pull.

Tired of his weak will. Tired of giving in so easily whenever Barnes comes looking for him.

Tired of cheating.

Barnes grins, teeth a straight white line despite everything. It may be Tony's imagination, but his canines always look sharper.

"I want you, baby doll," James Barnes murmurs, cigarette breath brushing across Tony's cheek.

And Tony yields. Once again, like the prey he is for him.

He knows the order by heart by now.

First comes fuck, second comes abandonment and third comes guilt.

Fourth comes regret, fifth comes resolution, but sixth comes Barnes.

And when Barnes comes, that's when the order becomes a cycle and the cycle repeats itself.

 _Rinse_ , and then _repeat_

-

There is no other way to describe how Barnes fucks Tony; he _uses_ him.

There is nothing stopping him from being brutal and _cruel._

Because he knows, the only person that could stop him is Tony and Tony _wouldn't._

Maybe it's masochism, maybe it's the tiny flicker of hope every time Barnes comes back to him that he's back for good.

Yes, Tony has a wife. Yes, Tony is about to be a dad. But fuck, dammit. Tony is the worst when it comes to James Barnes.

That's why Barnes calls him his 'favourite doll'.

Because Tony is only one of his many. Part of his sick collection.

"You're so good, Tony." He pants, breathless from the forceful way he's driving into Tony; ruthless.

"Billionaire or someone else's husband, you just can't resist me now, can you?" He thrusts; hard.

Shoving Tony a few inches up the hood of his car. In his own fucking garage because Tony is pathetic.

Barnes pushes Tony's face against the hood, one hand fisting his cock roughly as he fucks.

"Do you even love her?" He growls? " _Do you_?"

Tony whimpers, the pain and the pleasure bursting like firecrackers all down his blood stream. Flooding. Overwhelming every single cell in his being until he couldn't think, couldn't breathe; all of his focus is zeroed-in on Barnes and Barnes only.

Drowned in the way he absolutely takes, takes and _takes_ from Tony.

Fucks Tony like an animal; no love, just a wicked possessive game of fucking ever since the first time he came back looking.

"Breathe," he hisses into Tony's ear and Tony obeys.

Like his little pet. Going wherever Barnes takes him.

The mental imagery of that; Tony in a collar and a leash, bound to Barnes, yanks him straight out of the high he is so lost in.

Suddenly, all of his demons crowd in on him. All his worst thoughts, darkest emotions _crash_ and he -

Fuck.

He should stop.

He should - He -

Fuck. This is not fair. Someone took an oath to love him in sick and in health and he's fucking behind her back while she's three months pregnant with his fucking child. Fuck -

"Stop!" He gasps (in his mind, he _yells_ ), clawing at his behind where Barnes is attached. "Stop, stop, stop."

But Barnes bats him away.

Tony clambers, nails scratching down the sleek paint of his Audi. He has to stop this. He has to get away.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Barnes growls, pissed. His fingers dig painfully into Tony's hip and he _pulls_.

Tony trashes, kicking out blindly.

"Fuck!" Barnes curses.

This time he stops. He shoves Tony hard against the hood of the car. Tony's front crushed by the metal and he groans.

"Fuck! Shit! Dammit, doll, what the fuck?"

He's angry. Livid even. Fuming with his face red and sweaty from the fucking or anger, Tony doesn't know. Nor does he care.

He's escaped and that's all that matters.

Wincing, he stumbles back a step and pulls up his pants. The place below his belly aches more than the burn in his ass.

Tony takes a shuddering deep breath and zips up his pants. His hands are shaky.

Hell, _he_ is shaking.

Couldn't stop shaking even when he tries to.

Fuck.

"Hey?" Barnes calls, uncharacteristically soft. Like they are young and dumb again.

Like Tony is 16 and losing his virginity to Barnes all over again.

"You okay?" He reaches out, fingers an inch away from grazing Tony's shoulder and Tony jerks away.

There's no space left behind him; the car is too close to his back, blocking his path, but Tony steps back still.

Even if it means the back of his knees collides with the car and they buckle and he _falls_.

He just wants to get away from Barnes as far as he can.

As long as he still has that presence of mind; he wants to _flee_.

Wants to tuck his heart in his sleeve and bolt thousands of miles away where Barnes will _never_ find him.

Where Barnes will never look at him like he's the most precious fucking thing in the world; won't touch his face and call him _doll_. Won't christen him as his most favourite doll and fuck him like he means it.

Won't abandon him the second he finishes, tucking his tail in between his legs; cigarette stick between his teeth and fucking _thank_ Tony for the 'fun'. As if Tony is running some sex service.

Won't _not_ look at Tony a second time as he peels away like a band-aid from an unhealed wound; taking the scab and skin with him. Leaving Tony to _bleed._

Then there is his marriage...

"Tony? Doll?" Barnes calls, like he is _James_ again.

Like he is 17 and he's looking at Tony as if he's the sun and the star. The moon and the entire fucking universe and he's in fucking love.

Like he is young and his best friend hasn't died, his father hasn't fucked over their life and eloped and his mother hasn't lost her mind.

Like he is _James;_ hopeful, vibrant and ambitious. _Tony's_ James.

"No," Tony breathes out. Feeling his very core quaking.

He's on the ground, can't get up. But he's never going to take that hand Barnes holds out for him.

Barnes knows. He gives up.

Instead, he tugs his still open pants up to some modesty and he crouches next to Tony.

Tony turns away from him.

He can't look at those eyes without falling. He _can't_.

"Cherry," Barnes sighs, voice caressing soft.

Tony's final straw snaps and he _breaks_.

"You can't do this to me," he pleads, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

Anger boils along with despair and _pain_. "You can't."

Fuck, he curses. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He can't speak. Can't stop shaking, can't breathe, can't even fucking stand up. For or by himself.

He sniffles, willing the tears to stop. Forcing them when they won't. He presses the heels of his shaky palms to his closed lids and he breathes; in and out and in -

He can do this, he tells himself. He can do -

He can do this.

"C'mere," cigarette stench and sex musk fill in his space and -

And he _can't._

"Shush, baby doll, shh," James coos, rocking them both back and forth.

He got Tony wrapped in a weird hug; both of them on the floor, limbs tangled where their pants fell once not too long ago.

He kisses the top of Tony's head and hums a tune under his breath; a lullaby his mother sang for him when he was a kid and he used to cuddle Tony and sing it to him when they dated.

It works.

Because even when the world is ending, Tony knows for a fact that this would calm him down.

It was the dearest memory to him; the moonlight and the warmth of James' hug. Their innocent little thoughts and dreams that never came to life.

Tony hates him for doing this; bringing back memories he couldn't turn away from.

Bringing Tony back to those days.

_Remember that time?_

_Remember that time when we were young and in love?_

_Let’s go back to that._

“Come with me,” James proposes.

He’s finally zipped up his pants. Pulled on his shirt and his jacket. Bunched up his mussed hair into a ponytail that is effortlessly attractive.

Tony looks at him as if he’s crazy.

But James is hopeful. He’s not Barnes who’s done with life. He’s James and he’s got burning blue flames in his eyes.

“Come with me,” He repeats. “We’ll go somewhere far. Get new names, new papers and we’ll -,” he gives a little shake to his head; as if what follows that sentence is obvious.

_Remember that time when we were young and in love?_

_Let’s go back to that._

_I’ll put a ring on your finger and we’ll paint the whole world red._

He holds out his right hand. His expression earnest, intense eyes glinting with something bright after a long, long time and Tony despises himself when he steps away.

“I can’t just run away. I have a wife,” he says. “She’s pregnant.”

James hand falls.

Tony doesn’t dare to look him in the eyes when Barnes chokes out, “Don’t lie.”

“She’s not showing.”

“She’s three months in!” Tony snaps. Frustratedly running a hand through his hair. “She just came back from her first scan,” He shakes his head, sounding faint and faraway.

He feels like it, even. As if he’s not really there. Not really anywhere either. After all, he’d only just found out. She didn’t want to tell him until she was sure.

James is quiet. His continued silence makes Tony look at him. And when he does, he dies a little more inside.

James looks lost. As lost as he’d looked when he was forced to deliver a eulogy for his best friend; dead the morning after they’ve just found out that his father had withdrawn all of their savings and ran away.

Before he too, ran away. Leaving everyone and everything. Drove Tony crazy till he was at the end of his stream.

But, unlike his father, James came back.

Didn’t mean he was the same. He went around committing crimes, far different from his past truancies. He fucked everyone who’d fall for his charm. He cheated, lied, and did all things despicable under the sky.

Forgot he had a boyfriend. Forgot he was ever a human. Until his boyfriend and humanity left him be.

Tony cups his hand over his mouth. Swallowing back the sob that threatens to tear itself out.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers; voice muffled and almost indecipherable. But James understood nonetheless.

He pulls a smirk, and when he shakes his head with that slight swagger, he’s back to Barnes.

“Don’t bother.”

Cold, distant, detached.

Tony pulls his own self together; pulls a deep breath in, straightens his spine and squares up his shoulders.

“I hope I don’t see you again.” He forces out. As unemotional as he can.

His eyes are dry, his heart is too.

_Remember that time when we were young and in love?_

_When I said, I’ll put a ring on your finger and we’ll paint the whole world red._

_Let’s forget that._

Barnes’ smirk doesn’t fall. When he turns away, he doesn’t look back (never did anyway). And when he walks out of the door, Tony _knows_ this time, that he’ll never return.

This is their last time. And end to their horrid cycle.

Tony has got a wife upstairs and a baby coming his way in six more months. With that thought in his head, he closes his heart and sets it on fire.

**Author's Note:**

> [fanart](https://gayspacesprinkles.tumblr.com/post/621863176598847488/based-off-this-by-anthonyed-i-couldnt-help) by the wonderfully talented gayspacesprinkles
> 
> <3


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